Waiting in silence

Right now I'm waiting for my mum and sister to arrive.
I know they will arrive in 3 hours, not earlier.
So I also try to work a bit on my studies.

I'm keeping myself warm with a cup of cinnamon tea, while the whole house is quiet. My room mates went back to their families places, so the whole area here is quite silent. Less cars, less people in the supermarkets. Tea is keeping me happy, warm and content these days. With my tea, I can conquer the world. I could bring peace everywhere, all at the same time. But I decide not to. Why, you ask? Because I think the wars and everything that happens has a reason. People need to learn, and it's important to learn that lesson. It is kind of like raising a kid. You don't want it to fall, because it will be hurt, and you don't want your kid to cry. But once it has fallen, it learns. 'Oh, maybe it's better to not try to run on ice.' 'Maybe I should look before I start walking.' Important lessons to be learned. We all learn lessons.

I love it how people here spend time with their families. Christmas is a real tradition and holiday, and they have a lot more traditions. People gather all their family together, spend a whole julafton eating, drinking and having fun. I enjoy it so much that my mum and sister are coming here, I really appreciate it. I have family, and I'm so happy I can share my experiences and adventures with them. I like that they don't get jealous or anything. They enjoy their lives, I enjoy mine. Like it should be. And believe it or not, I'm sometimes really jealous of their lives...

One thing that really shocked me this week was how many people rejoiced in the fact that Kim Jung-Il is dead. I understand it, but part of me thinks it's absurd. Why would you ever celebrate the fact that someone dies? It must be tragic for his family and his loved ones. There are probably people that really care about them, and although he was a dictator, there is no reason to party. I'm not saying I'm mourning here and am really sad, as I'm not. I hope this will be a step forward to North Korea, but I would never celebrate the dead of someone. I would celebrate freedom, if that is possible for North Korea.

Enough thoughts, enough writing.
I'm going back to my tea and my thesis.

Traveling

I am kind of getting the hang of blogging and surprised keeping this updated is not as hard as I thought it would be.

(next paragraph is about my traveling, but it’s something I’m enthusiastic about, so it can also be on this blog. Hah!)
The past week I made all my traveling plans (also known as: ‘What I need to do before I leave the country’). This means my schedule is packed now, so at the moment (yes, in the weekend) I’m also working on my thesis. What I’m going to visit before hitting the road back south? First, I’m having Christmas and New Years in Sundsvall, which will probably include a lot of champagne (yes, yes, yes!). After that, we’re traveling north to Kiruna, stay a night in the Ice Hotel (yes, yes, yes!) and travel to Abisko and Lulea. I’m also going a weekend to Stockholm with Sylke, and after that I’m already going south! Time flies when you’re having fun ;-)

Talking about traveling (okej, I think this whole blogpost will be about traveling and going everywhere, excuse me.), I’m still working on my dayzeroproject! My list doesn’t include that much traveling, but I think the ‘small’ things are so much fun to do, and sometimes a bit difficult to fit into your ‘normal’ schedule. Next to my dayzerolist, I also have a ‘7 things in 2012’-list. At the moment I’m trying to figure out if it is possible for me to get my degree in 2012 instead of 2013, which would give me a flying start to do all the traveling and do a lot on my list(s).
The most fun thing about this list, is that after finishing this one (the list ends somewhere in 2013, but I can finish it early, if I want ;-)), I want to make a new one! It’s so exciting and mind freeing to make lists and do things that make you passionate and make you love life and appreciate the people around you more.

To more traveling, a fantastic new year and meeting lots of new people! Skål!

Link to my dayzeroproject: http://dayzeroproject.com/user/Thisca/
(my 7 things in 2012 list is also on this website)

Differences and silence

At the moment, I work a lot under stress. I try to get all my deadlines on time, but it’s hard. I try to live my life and still have a good time, go to parties and eat with friends.
Right now, everything is a bit more livable then when I would be in Holland. In Holland I also have 12-20 hours of work per week, I can put those hours now in friends, relaxing and parties.
I just hope I can keep being relaxed when I’m back. I’m just afraid that I will not be able to keep this rhythm, and keep being me.
When I arrived in Sweden, I was really confused. It was so weird and new for me to have time to don’t do anything. Just sit there and be all on myself. Accept the silence, be right here, right now. I’ve now adapted to the silence, the rest I get and everything what is normal here. The first week, I cried. I was confused, I didn’t even know I had that many thoughts going on in my head. The second week was better, but it was not until the fourth week here that I realized that I should start living like this. Take life easy, and live life now. Don’t wait until whatever goal you want to reach. What do you want to do? What do you want to explore, to discover? Start planning those exact things today! Nothing is impossible, but I’m still trying to figure out how to get everything in my schedule ;)

I want to write more about being with silence, but I haven't figured out how, yet.

Simple life

At the moment I am trying to figure out how I want to live (my life). I know it is impossible to determine now what I am going to do for the rest of my life, but I would like to give myself a nudge in the right direction.
Am I not stressing anymore? Not at all! The last month has been really stressful and confusing for me. What if this was not what I am living for. What if I am doing a step in the opposite direction? What if I am really walking back while thinking I go forward?
While trying not to freak out, all these questions really freaked me out. But after putting every thought in the right place, every feeling in the right box with the right label ‘when to pull out’, I feel at peace. Yesterday, I did not worry, I was not paranoia or anything. I felt free.
Wow. That was an amazing feeling. I have never felt that free. I have never felt so happy, so complete. It felt weird to not stress about anything, not worry. But I just observed myself. I did not stress, got paranoia or started worrying.

So what did I find out? Firstly, I like to be free. I like to be me. I understand now that I do not need the newest phone, bag or clothes to be happy. To be happy, I need just me. Maybe a cup of tea, maybe a ray of sunshine. Maybe a hug. Maybe a shoulder to cry on. But I can be happy with the simple things that life has to offer. The simple things we’re amazed at when we were younger, but we take for granted now.

I am so glad for all the opportunities I get in life. And I will enjoy every second of them.

Dead, dead, death.

So this blog has been really dead. And because I can't accept that fact, I'm going to start again! I'll try to do 2 updates per week, maybe 3 if I have enough to tell! I don't have that much followers, but I need to get all my thoughts out of my head and write everything down somewhere.

Things that have changed:
- Everything

So at the moment I live in Sundsvall, where I work on a project for the university (Miduniversitetet) here. However, I'll be moving back to Amsterdam on the 20th of januari, which means a lot of new pictures of Amsterdam when I'm back, because so much has changed and I love acting like a tourist!
Next to my project, I'm also studying Swedish, and I'm going to try to keep my Swedish up when I'm back in Holland. Tomorrow I have my final test, so I hope I'll pass!

Until the end of januari, I'll be still posting updates about my traveling (in Dutch) on this website.

Next post will be about a few more updates and snow! (Because there is still no snow here, and it irritates me)

Thank you so much for reading!